Hello. My name is Amanda and it has been 0 days since I last correctly followed a recipe.
It always starts out so innocent…
“Ooooh this looks good! Let’s make this!”
(while cooking)…”Ya know what would go good in this? All the random shit in our fridge!”
(high fives self)
(makes giant mess because of putting too much food in one small pan)
“That was a stupid idea”
Rinse and repeat. I have a problem and I BLAME YOU MOM!!! (not really but kinda 😉 )
Who thinks running 2.5 miles, eating 12 stale Krispy Kreme donuts, and running another 2.5 miles sounds like a good time??
Spoiler alert…it’s really really not a good time
Running isn’t too bad, it’s just 2.5 miles and a flat course. Not to mention, the donuts!!
(grabs donut box) “Let’s do this!!!”
Donut 1/2 (smooshed together for efficiency): WOAH these are super stale!
Donut 3/4: Who puts this much glaze on a donut!? OMG it’s too sweet and the glaze isn’t coming off with water and my hands are sticky and gross. *Discovers that dunking donuts in water makes them much easier to eat* WHAT IS THIS A CUP FOR ANTS?!? (mashing donuts in tiny water cup)
Donut 5/6: (hating life) I can’t eat any more…..must…..finish…..half……dozen……… (makes it to all of one bite left and then cannot take any more, mouth is rebelling, may vomit) <-note: did not actually vomit
Stand up, drink water and start running back to Steve with the remaining 6 donuts.
Finish. Regret.
Has meeting in 10 min.
“Ooh I’ll run one more simulation before going down!”
Starts simulation
30 min later
Regret.
In other news, I chopped my hair off! No ponytails for a while but my headband game is pretty strong.
This wasn’t really a stupid decision cause I like the haircut, but I did decide on chopping it off while sitting in the salon getting my hair dyed which was probably not the best way to go about that decision…..
I genuinely have NO idea how to end this post so….
The End.
PhDeviants 