Passion for me means finding a deep attachment to the actions I make in life. I’m talking about soul. When I say I’m passionate about music, it means that, whether I’m listening, performing, or thinking about music, nothing else matters. My passion comes from a part of my soul that is raw, consuming, and relentless. My attention is immediately drawn to music, no matter what situation I’m in (including eating at a restaurant and losing track of a conversation because they’re playing music in the background, so…… sorry about that) It interrupts my daily life and my conversations no matter what. I can’t help it.
I think the key to answering this question is figuring out if I have that level of commitment to anything else. If not, how can I find or maybe even create, passion in other things?
Engineering is a cold field. It is ripe with discovery, but rarely is that discovery accompanied by the sweeping personal attachment and connection to the soul of humanity. This is not to say engineering is not creative or engineering cannot evoke an emotional response, merely that it does not touch your beliefs. Engineering is a factual science. It doesn’t matter what you believe in. Facts are fact. Science is. A device does not change how it operates based on how you feel.
Engineering does not make me question my philosophical foundation. It allows me to explore and expand that foundation by asking new questions, but it does not challenge my beliefs.
I think passion should make you uncomfortable sometimes. It should challenge you at a fundamental level. What do you feel? Why do you feel? Passion in something should help you grow as a person. There is a heart to passion.
When you follow your passion, you should feel a sense of wholeness. Of completeness. The thought of music makes my heart swell in anticipation of the journey I’m ready to embark on. That feeling of butterflies in your stomach when you see someone you like? That excited anticipation when you see your best friend? That’s it.
I’m pretty sure every one of my friends and family know that music is my passion. This is not a secret. I’m struggling though. I cannot reconcile this passion with my decision to pursue engineering. So why am I here? Why did I even bother to major in engineering, much less, study it for 10 years?!?
Deep down I don’t believe there is an ‘engineering’ job that I can be passionate about. I’m being pulled to change the direction in which my life is heading. Maybe its worth it. Maybe not. Maybe I work to build a financial foundation that can fund my journey into music. Or maybe, I simply live and fulfill my passion outside of work. Who would I be if I followed my passion exclusively?
Honestly, I don’t think I would be satisfied with that either. There is so much this world has to offer. I want to experience as much of it as I can. I want to learn as much as I can. I want to share that knowledge and that passion for learning with others.
Music is my soul.
Learning is my passion.