Hello??

Anyone still there?

Hey!

What’s up?

How’s life going? What’s good? What’s bad? What’s crazy?

Things have been … just been….over here. Word on the street is that everyone goes through a major mental/motivation crisis on the PhD journey. I’m DEFINITELY in that stage.

I’m currently working on slides for my oral preliminary exam. And it’s awful. I feel as though I haven’t accomplished anything in the last year (due to controversy over math and writing papers) so it seems like I have nothing to show. I’m also pretty worried since I don’t have what one would call the stereotypical dissertation topic. Those tend to be very in depth on a specific topic in a specific field in a specific subject. <- Think, people who spend their entire career developing one equation

My topic is absolutely nothing like that. It’s a little mix of heat transfer and simulation with a dash of knit design and a sprinkle of electronics and biology. None of these are very in depth but I have a pretty good knowledge of how each one fits into the big picture. This makes it rather difficult to tell a story based on a research question and a hypothesis because everything is related and simultaneously unrelated. This is already rather stressful.

Because I am a mismash of fields I have a mismash of a committee with varying backgrounds in different departments. I’m very happy with who I’ve chosen! What’s not great is that each department on campus has different graduation requirements and no one can give me direction on which forms to fill out and what requirements I need to meet. <- Which results in stuff like today where I find out about a bunch of forms that are due tomorrow and they all need signatures and approvals. Frankly, I’m pissed.

I’m pissed that my advisor has been mostly absent in a semester when I needed extra advice. I’m pissed that no one can give me any direction. I’m pissed that the dog whines constantly when I’m home and trying to get work done. I’m pissed that the first vacation we took since Thanksgiving (yes we worked through most of Christmas) was less of a vacation and more of a frantic, scheduled sight-seeing expedition. (Yes it was fun and we had a great time but it was a stressful vacation). I’m pissed that we need to move again to find cheaper rent and the prices are higher and the places are less dog friendly.

Long story short…I’m tired, frustrated, and pissed off and I really need a vacation. Or a margarita 🙂

 

The Waiting Game

Waiting sucks.

Especially if you’re an eternally impatient person like me.

Especially especially if you rely on deadlines to get things done like me.

I have quite a few projects that I’m working on at any given time and I like it. It keeps me busy and prevents boredom (when you get tired/frustrated with one project, just move to a different one for a bit!)

But on every.single.project I’m currently playing the waiting game. Meaning, I’m floating in this weird space where there’s a lot that needs to get done, but I’m stuck waiting on others.

I have 3 paper drafts that need to be submitted to journals: I’m waiting on professors to give their feedback

I have a sweat wicking project: Waiting on the spinning lab (which is running behind) to finish some new yarns to test

I have a knitting project: I need help with some software and everyone who is able to help is wrapped up in other projects and does not have time right now

I have a heat spreader project: Waiting on a guy in Switzerland to get back to me on a material I need that may or may not exist

I have an energy harvesting project: Waiting on the new student to fix the code for the app so I can resume human trials

There are other deadlines, but they are too far out to be motivating.

So my current grad school work consists of bashing my head in frustration on the nearest hard object….and grumbling about the cold and rainy weather we’ve been having.

Honestly this is part of it. There’s an ebb and flow in grad school and I’m most definitely stuck in a purgatory of nothing.

It’s gotten to the point where I’m looking forward to the end of the semester so I actually have things to do….sheesh!

I wish this post were a little more upbeat but yeah….this is what’s actually going on and I like being honest. And in the spirit of being honest, this funk is really affecting my mood. I despise feeling useless and that’s all that’s going around right now. So not only am I frustrated from not having things to do, I’m also frustrated that my finances are shit (so I can’t go do fun stuff cause fun stuff costs money), and my mood was on the rebound and now I’m frustrated that I’m frustrated which in turn makes me a pretty grumpy person. And apparently a rambling person as well….

I’m really hoping things pick up soon…

Here’s a puppy pic to close out this post because PUPPIES

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Sometimes I Do Stupid Shit: Part 2

Hello. My name is Amanda and it has been 0 days since I last correctly followed a recipe.

It always starts out so innocent…

“Ooooh this looks good! Let’s make this!”

(while cooking)…”Ya know what would go good in this? All the random shit in our fridge!”

(high fives self)

(makes giant mess because of putting too much food in one small pan)

“That was a stupid idea”

Rinse and repeat. I have a problem and I BLAME YOU MOM!!! (not really but kinda 😉 )


Who thinks running 2.5 miles, eating 12 stale Krispy Kreme donuts, and running another 2.5 miles sounds like a good time??

Spoiler alert…it’s really really not a good time

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Running isn’t too bad, it’s just 2.5 miles and a flat course. Not to mention, the donuts!!

(grabs donut box) “Let’s do this!!!”

Donut 1/2 (smooshed together for efficiency): WOAH these are super stale!

Donut 3/4: Who puts this much glaze on a donut!? OMG it’s too sweet and the glaze isn’t coming off with water and my hands are sticky and gross. *Discovers that dunking donuts in water makes them much easier to eat* WHAT IS THIS A CUP FOR ANTS?!? (mashing donuts in tiny water cup)

Donut 5/6: (hating life) I can’t eat any more…..must…..finish…..half……dozen……… (makes it to all of one bite left and then cannot take any more, mouth is rebelling, may vomit) <-note: did not actually vomit

Stand up, drink water and start running back to Steve with the remaining 6 donuts.

Finish. Regret.


 

Has meeting in 10 min.

“Ooh I’ll run one more simulation before going down!”

Starts simulation

30 min later

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Regret.


 

In other news, I chopped my hair off! No ponytails for a while but my headband game is pretty strong.

This wasn’t really a stupid decision cause I like the haircut, but I did decide on chopping it off while sitting in the salon getting my hair dyed which was probably not the best way to go about that decision…..

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I genuinely have NO idea how to end this post so….

The End.

 

Just Do It

Nike’s slogan isn’t hugely popular for no reason.

You just gotta do it.

I’ve made a lot of excuses recently that have allowed me to sit on the couch and marathon Netflix while letting everything else fall to the wayside. Were the excuses valid? Of course! I’m hella tired after a 13 hr work day so of course imma sit my butt on the couch and watch trashy TV. But I was only making excuses to avoid responsibility

I don’t know about anyone else, but my world just seems to function a bit better when I have my shit together. Now let’s not go crazy and say that I do my meal prep on Sunday and laundry every day and I always remember to feed the dogs on time and the apartment is clean. By having my shit together I mean I remember to actually feed the dogs, take a shower, feed myself, realize the clean dishes actually need to be put away.

It doesn’t take much. You just gotta do it. Just a little bit. And eventually that little bit will seem smaller and smaller.

This week was terrifying and awesome and terrifying for me.

I found out that I’ve done enough research to plan for my prelim (pre-defense defense) in June! That’s a whole year earlier than I expected!

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The downside is that I had to make my committee and start some paperwork.

Some people have no problem going up to others and asking questions or favors and such. I am not one of those people. It took me 4 DAYS to work up the courage to walk to two offices of professors I know (who like me and we chat on a semi-regular basis) and ask them to be on my committee. 4 DAYS Y’ALL. And even then I was definitely in a caffeine-induced stupor and making less than stellar decisions. Just to do something that took me 10 min. (In my defense, people are scary and asking people for things/help is panic-inducing)

But. Anywhoo.

It seems like my theme for this week was JUST DO IT ALREADY. Not just in academics but also in my running life <-it exists again!!!

In other news, as part of the ever challenging PhD program, I learned how to make a box.

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It’s a beautiful box. Idk what to do with it. But it exists.

I’m off to figure out what I’m doing for the weekend (besides panicking)!

TTYL

 

 

Blogiversary

Hi everyone!

As of today this blog is 1 year old! So cute XD

Steve and I started this with the intention of recording all the little adventures that we have had but can never actually remember because we can’t remember shit.

We are so happy you are here and hope that you find at least some of these antics amusing!

Anyhoo

The most popular post thus far has been…

This is Patrick!

I am 99.9% sure that most of these views came from spambots so a huge shout out to them for selecting our winner

Other popular posts include:

My hatred for Matlab

and apparently you guys don’t like Adulting either. I’m glad we can agree on that

In other news, here’s a sleeping puppy with a smooshed face

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a margarita

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a box (PhD education y’all)

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and my cooking style = alcohol

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Steve and I are heading to Miami tomorrow for our industry meeting which isn’t that exciting since we’ll be stuck in a conference room 10hrs/day.

But I do see more margaritas in our future 🙂